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I’ve cheated so much and lied so much about it that I can’t stop lying. Even while I’m doing it, I think to myself that I want to STOP, and I can’t even stop because I’m so mired down in it all that I couldn’t climb back up, no matter how much I want to. I’m spontaneous to the extreme, and that makes it all worse. I know where to go to get what I want, but if I can’t get it there, I keep going. I keep pushing and asking and looking until I find someone who will give it to me. I might be looking for the kind of satisfaction that doesn’t even satisfy ME, it just makes me feel better to get all of that energy out of my system and pump it into somebody else. It’s funny because growing up, the one thing I said I would NEVER do was be like my Daddy. Then when I grew up, I found out I was nearly as crazy as he was. You know what I did last week? I got back home with my husband. He’d been in the hospital sick, and the very next day, I found some excuse to run across town and pick up my…. I held my other hand in the air and he added, "Time!"I stood and dusted myself off for the third time."I guess the memory is really the first thing to go," the coach said from his box.I shrugged."I don't even remember giving the signs for bunt or steal."I grinned. "Seemed like a good idea at the time."I looked at the pitcher, who seemed frustrated. I considered curtseying, but he seemed like a good guy and I didn't want to rub it in. Robbie ain't so nice."Can I bat now?" she yelled. "Or did you two want to play one-on-one some more."The pitcher went from frustrated to mad.I decided that Robbie wasn't the only one who wasn't nice. I caught the coach's eye and gave him a signal. He thought about it, then nodded, though not as enthusiastically as I'd hoped.The pitcher stepped on the rubber. Now, as he came set, he was looking straight at me. I took a big lead. I could see him thinking about me and smiled."Go ahead and windup!" his coach yelled from the dugout. The pitcher stepped.
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